Developing Compassion

We can all do with a little more compassion, both for ourselves and for each other. Research tells us that compassion has positive side effects, so what if we approached it as a practice, rather than a virtue? How can compassionate communication positively shape our relationships? And how can it redefine our relationship with ourselves? Let’s dive deeper into the process of developing a practice of compassion, in all its forms. We cover some of these topics in our wellness workshops.

Responding with Compassion

Practicing compassion for yourself is an ongoing journey that will reflect positively in all your relationships. Treating yourself with compassion means being aware of where you are emotionally, knowing what you need, and being able to extend that information to someone else. Sharing compassion in this way can add more context to a potentially difficult situation—like an argument with a loved one—by giving the other person insight into how you are feeling (because after all, odds are they aren’t a mind reader!). By following these four steps, we communicate effectively and work to reduce frustration toward someone else. That is when the magic happens, allowing compassion to manifest. Reap the benefits of employee wellness programs which work to make the workplace thrive on compassion.

Lifting others can bring joy

In a study from Emory University, participants were asked to help someone else while their brain activity was recorded. Results showed that supporting others triggered the brain activity associated with pleasure and reward, bringing us the same joy we get from gratification of personal desire.

Compassion as an emotion has physical side effects

When you feel compassion for others, your heart rate goes down. This is the opposite of when you are in a threatening situation and your heart rate kicks up. With compassion, the feeling you get is to approach and soothe. That's why mothers tend to comfort a crying baby, rather than panic trying to figure out why it’s crying.

Practicing compassion produces oxytocin

A friendly smile, a soft touch, or a kind gesture to another person triggers your body to produce more oxytocin, creating a chemical reaction that motivates you to be more compassionate. Starting your day with a positive mind attitude towards others actually makes it easier to continue being compassionate all day long.

Understanding the nuance of compassion

While there are many similarities between the three words—and they all have their time and place—it’s important to understand the nuance between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Unlike empathy and sympathy, compassion creates emotional distance from the individual and the situation we’re facing, allowing us to be proactive in our actions. Learn more about how our workplace wellbeing hub offers the best wellness resources for communal success.

1. IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM SITUATION

Is the stress of the big move causing arguments about petty things like salt shakers? Are there certain words or phrases a friend says that make you feel bad about yourself? Take a moment to step back and examine what it is exactly that is causing tension.

2. Identify the actions contributing to the problem situation

Sometimes this can be something obvious, like a friend or partner picking fights over anything and everything, or sometimes it can be more subtle like disregarding your boundaries. By understanding what specifically they are doing to cause harm, you can begin to understand how to address it.

3. Identify which of your needs were not met in those actions

Make connections and understand what it is that you need that you did not receive. What boundaries do you have that were disregarded? In what ways does this interaction not reflect who you are or what you believe in?

4. Move forward

Consider that the other person was not aware of those needs, and use this additional context to think about communicating with them in a new way. Compassionate communication sets our relationships up to succeed, because we are giving every conversation all the tools to be as effective as possible.